So I haven't blogged in a while because we've been busy with our new addition to the family who is now 7 weeks old! Little baby boy! Love, love him. But the strain for the last 7 weeks has been hard. I feel like I am constantly in HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. And I've had drinking cravings.
My head thinks that things will be easier if I could have a drink. The thoughts are so strong that I even, almost, bought wine coolers. I thought that it maybe a safe way not to get drunk, I could just sip them all day long. Haha, that never happened! I never just sipped, in the end I always got drunk!
So I am a bit tired and overwhelmed and grouchy.
I decided that it was time to get to a meeting.
I love meetings. They bring me back to reality. Especially when there is a newcomer. I get to remember how it used to be; so lonely and hopeless, a total despair. So I listen. And then I am grateful again. Because I know. None of this would be possible if I was still drinking. And sipping wine coolers is not the solution at all. I have better solution now, that is AA. It keeps me grounded and sane. It's my higher power. And it works.
So I am still tired and bit overwhelmed. But I am sober and that's all that matters!
My head thinks that things will be easier if I could have a drink. The thoughts are so strong that I even, almost, bought wine coolers. I thought that it maybe a safe way not to get drunk, I could just sip them all day long. Haha, that never happened! I never just sipped, in the end I always got drunk!
So I am a bit tired and overwhelmed and grouchy.
I decided that it was time to get to a meeting.
I love meetings. They bring me back to reality. Especially when there is a newcomer. I get to remember how it used to be; so lonely and hopeless, a total despair. So I listen. And then I am grateful again. Because I know. None of this would be possible if I was still drinking. And sipping wine coolers is not the solution at all. I have better solution now, that is AA. It keeps me grounded and sane. It's my higher power. And it works.
So I am still tired and bit overwhelmed. But I am sober and that's all that matters!
