|AA Big Book, Into Action, pg 82.|
We also read Chapter 6, Into Action in the AA Big Book, and discussed how to go about making amends. I had many questions - Why can't I just apologize? What is the difference between apologizing and making amends? Why make amends instead of apologizing?
My sponsor shared an article with me about making amends; the author suggested that you don't just say "I am sorry," but ask for forgiveness instead, because saying I am sorry is like closing off the door to forgiveness. Of course I had to do some more research... haha, just clear my mind a bit more and be ready - this is my perfectionist side. lol!
I looked up the few words:
Definition of apology: A regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.
Definition of amends: Reparation or compensation.
Definition of forgiveness: To renounce anger or resentment against.I also found this little bit on the Hazelden* website:
How do amends differ from apologies? An amend has to do with restoring justice as much as possible. The idea is to restore in a direct way that which we have broken or damaged--or to make restoration in a symbolic way if we can't do it directly.
Say, for example, that I borrowed 20 dollars from you and never paid you back. If I go up to you and say, "Gee, I'm sorry I borrowed your 20 dollars and spent it on drugs," that would be an apology. Making amends is giving your money back to you. - http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/has70305.pageHmmm... I though, I have done a few amends in the past, but I think that I just apologized. But I think that I have a clearer understanding of what I am about to embark on. I am still a bit fearful. But I was determined to take this step, so every time the feeling creeps up, I pause and ask my Higher Power to guide me and release me from fear. OK, I think I am ready. :)
*Hazelden helps individuals, families, and communities struggling with alcohol abuse, substance abuse, and drug addiction transform their lives. Our locations across the United States help people at all stages of the treatment and recovery process, supporting them with our Twelve Step-based model that is the modern standard for addiction treatment and recovery services. - for more information please visit their website at http://www.hazelden.org
Click HERE to read the AA Step Nine.