Sometimes in sobriety we get in a funk, and wonder what is all this work for and when will we finally be happy, joyous and free? And when will we be able to just live like normal people!?
Oh, can relate to his feeling! This happens to many of us in sobriety, and often for no reason in particular! It's the blahs, the mehs, the fuck-its! Yes, there are several names for this feeling!
Sobriety often feels like lots of work, and it may feel like the end is nowhere in sight. Things just don't seem to get better fast enough for u,s and we wonder if we really have to do this forever. Ugh! We often feel like we just want to say fuck-it, I am done with all this sobriety crap, I am done with learning about myself, and reading all the literature, and keeping my side of the street clean, and going to the meetings, and staying connected, and on, and on, and on! I want to just be, and do nothing!
The good news is that this feeling is normal, and it will pass too! "Believe it or not, you are right where you are suppose to be!" - my sponsor usual says. Sometimes, I hate when she says that. Lol! I know it's true but I don't want to hear it. She says that, because she believes that this is the time before the next growth spurt. She often reminds me that this is not a race, and there is no finish line. It's just like brushing you're teeth, you do it everyday so your teeth won't fall out! LOL!
The other good news is that if you're getting tired of waiting for the big changes, don't lose hope! One day you will stop thinking about drinking, one day you will stop craving it, one day you will stop missing it. One day not drinking will be normal to you! And one day it will just happen, and you won't really know it, till something triggers it, and then you're gonna be like, wow, I haven't thought about drinking today! As a matter of fact, I don't know when was the last time I thought about drinking! Wow!
This will happen! I don't know when, but it will happen if you stay sober.
As far as forever, I never was able to think that way. I still say, just for today, but maybe tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I am like, well, maybe another day. What keeps me going forward now is that I don't want to start over! That is way more work, than continuing to move forward in sobriety. :)