February 6, 2014

Positively Sober

I am not a naturally positive person and really I am not sure that anyone really is. Well, maybe. Maybe there are those people who always have a smile on their face and always have something good to say no matter what is going on in their lives. I suppose it is just like the people that always complain, right? I think I was always one of those people! I just complained. I had no problem telling anyone how bad it was, how stupid I was or they were, how my life sucked and how their life sucked too. My story was always the same: my mom was an alcoholic, my dad didn't care about me, I had no money, I had a crappy job and the only men that were interested in me were assholes. Yep, that was my life - or at least what I thought of my life at the time. 
When I was in rehab, every morning we were supposed to write on the big white board in the meeting room, one thing that was good about our life. I had nothing. I just wrote "I was here."  I am sure this was still part of my defiance since the rehab was court ordered. But. Seriously, I actually couldn't think of anything. I couldn't think of anything good about my life!

So it has been quite a challenge to change that behavior. The negativity had become second nature, it was just the way I was. I remember the first time I decided that I was not going to get up and get out of bed in a grumpy mood. I decided that I was going to greet everyone with a smile and ask how they were doing. It felt really uncomfortable, and it was such a change from - don't you talk to me till I am on my second cup of coffee and another cigarette! - yep, that's how my mornings used to be.

Today I have to work at being positive, still. I have to get up each day and say:
Today is going to be a good day!
I have to keep the gratitude and I have to believe that the glass is half full at all times! Then some days are still scrappy, and I just have to put a smile on my face an keep on trudging. And that's OK too. I just remind myself that tomorrow is always filled with promise and I would rather have to work on being positive than dealing with the crazy, viscous cycle of alcoholism. 

So hang in there friends! Sober life is good! Keep on smiling!


  1. What an amazing message for you to share! I am one of those people that would seriously piss you off. I'm not always happy, but I tend to turn everything into a positive. I think that's how I managed to survive my own crappy childhood and still turn out semi-normal...well...

    But this message is so important to those who are struggling. Just to help them remember that no matter how bad their day is, it's still better than "dealing with the crazy, viscous cycle of alcholism."

    Well played.


    1. Lol! Sherry, you're probably right, but at this point in the game I would rather be around the eternally positive people anyway. :) so keep on smiling. Thanks for stopping by, hope you're doing well!

  2. Thanks for this! My day just got better. :-)

  3. Lol! i'm like Sherry. i've realized lately that i've always been a rather upbeat person and that alcoholism took that away from me. In my 3 years of sobriety, i've been able to recapture that. Which is not to say i don't have my days, but i think my default mood is rather good.

    Which doesn't mean i don't have my own issues that i keep struggling with. 'Fear' is my big one. i'm getting a little better about it, but not a lot and i would've thought i'd be farther along in that issue than i am. Oh well, always forward, right?

  4. Lol! There is always something to work toward, fear is for sure a big one for me too! So fear and negativity is a real bad combo! Lol! I think I got the negativity bit down, so not it's positive fear?! Lol! Yep, still trudging forward!


Keep moving forward!