I recently grew a gigantic resentment. My company is having a company retreat, which really sounds more like eating and drinking for 2 days with no limits. The agenda includes two days of meetings and two nights of partying. First night of partying, is a baseball game to which we would be driven to on the drunk bus lol, and then enjoy box seats and a private supply of food and drink. The second night includes a wine tasting event with a five course dinner to follow. Ugh. Why does the fun stuff always have to include alcohol? Grrrr.....
The more I thought about the party events the more freaked out and resentful I became. I seriously could not be a part of this!!! Why!!??? Cause I would drink myself to death! Seriously. Free booze!? Oh that is heaven to an alcoholic!!! Well...it actually is hell. But then I started getting really mad: I want to have fun too! I want free booze and free food and free baseball game. I want to socialize with my coworkers! I want to party too!!!
But, I realized that I just couldn't go to this event, at least not if I wanted to stay sober. I decided that I would just blame it on the family life, you know like a sick child or no babysitter or something. I know it sounds lame, and I am sure they will be thinking that I am lame, but that is better than - Oh did you see what she did last night! LOL! Can't believe it! She was sooo drunk!
I don't want to be left out. But I know I can not go without putting my sobriety in jeopardy. And my sobriety is the most important thing in my life today! Yes it is. So, I am not going. Because if I wasn't sober today I would probably not be around to be able to grow a resentment! LOL!
Today, I have a choice. And I chose life in sobriety.