I have been going thru some shtuff and I am grasping at things out there to make me happy; I am looking for more, for better, for greater! Spinning my wheels and going nowhere!
Sometimes I wonder where that comes from, I have everything I need! I have a great family and a good job and a car and a house, all things that I never had until I got sober! How amazing is that! But I go through these times when I feel like me and all that, is just not enough. Others are better and have more! All I can figure is that this is ego driven. My ego thinks I should be more and have more and strive for more! And that same ego, I know, will lead me to a drink.
So I have been talking and listening to my amazing AA family and I have been going to a meeting held at the local shelter. It's a sobering reminder of where I was before I got sober, well I didn't live in a shelter but I sure was close to being homeless. But the people there are always friendly. I tend to try to do some small talk with them, which I am not good at, but in hopes to give some support and show care and hope, I make myself do it anyways. And guess what? It fills my heart with joy, because I am learning way more from them than they are probably learning from me.
And here is the key I have figured out: it really is all in the perspective and it is all within us. I found that people at the shelter can still be hopeful and joyous. They still keep their heads up and look to the future with positive eyes. And here I am whining about things I don't have! Blah blah blah...
I am truly learning. Life has become good in sobriety and sometimes I forget where I came from. I start taking things for granted and forget the gratitudes. So my friend told me that November is the month of gratitude, which is something people do on Facebook; once a day they post what they are grateful for. This is some perfect timing for me and I am going to do it!
I'd like to also post here. Once a week I will post my list for the past seven days. I would love to hear from you too, we can keep inspiring each other! I am going to start today with what no doubt, I am the most grateful for:
November 1: I am grateful for my sobriety!
What are you grateful for today?