AA Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
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| AA 12 and 12, Step Three, pg 34. |
I missed the step 3 meeting because I was in the ER, fantasizing about a great high! See Prescription for Crazy. But this is definitely one of my favorite steps that I probably use every day! No really! The 3rd step prayer and the serenity prayer have literally saved my ass on many occasions. Whenever my ego wants to navigated and the control becomes unbearable, I turn to this step!
But how do you exactly relay on a power greater than yourselves??! How do you give up control? This seemed totally impossible to me! I AM self-reliant, I can do everything by myself, and don’t need any help from anybody, ever! Right?? But in reality I couldn't handle it by myself at all, that's why I drank...I couldn't manage it, I couldn’t deal with it, I couldn’t live it! So step 3 was a great relief. It was like taking step 2 a bit further for me; I already believe that HP can help me and restore me to sanity, now I need to rely on him to guide me and help me through the journey. And all I needed, as it says in the AA 12 and 12, is willingness!! Actually, the key of willingness!
The 3rd step prayer has really helped me to let go of my control. I started saying them ever morning and little by little my days had become more manageable!
Yes, it was time to give up the power! Let someone else drive this life bus! That's what I usually say; " I am not in charge here!" Though some days this is easy to do some days not so...like it says, your self-will might take the willingness right back!! But you can always come back and try again. It is very freeing to give up control, especially since I seem to have a death grip on everything!
So little by little I gave up few things, like getting upset about how my husband loads the dishwasher, or the crazy drivers on the road, or my boss being grumpy. In each one of these events, there was some part of me that wanted and tried to control, even though I didn't have too or I really couldn't - I would reorganize the dishwasher after my husband, I would yell out obscenities at other drivers, and I would walk around angry at work, cursing my boss under my breath. This all left me quite discontent! But by realizing that I could just try to accept these things, because really, they were not that big of a deal, I realized that everything was still ok, and in the end I was not miserable!
But how do you exactly relay on a power greater than yourselves??! How do you give up control? This seemed totally impossible to me! I AM self-reliant, I can do everything by myself, and don’t need any help from anybody, ever! Right?? But in reality I couldn't handle it by myself at all, that's why I drank...I couldn't manage it, I couldn’t deal with it, I couldn’t live it! So step 3 was a great relief. It was like taking step 2 a bit further for me; I already believe that HP can help me and restore me to sanity, now I need to rely on him to guide me and help me through the journey. And all I needed, as it says in the AA 12 and 12, is willingness!! Actually, the key of willingness!
The 3rd step prayer has really helped me to let go of my control. I started saying them ever morning and little by little my days had become more manageable!
God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness
To those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love,
And Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!
Yes, it was time to give up the power! Let someone else drive this life bus! That's what I usually say; " I am not in charge here!" Though some days this is easy to do some days not so...like it says, your self-will might take the willingness right back!! But you can always come back and try again. It is very freeing to give up control, especially since I seem to have a death grip on everything!So little by little I gave up few things, like getting upset about how my husband loads the dishwasher, or the crazy drivers on the road, or my boss being grumpy. In each one of these events, there was some part of me that wanted and tried to control, even though I didn't have too or I really couldn't - I would reorganize the dishwasher after my husband, I would yell out obscenities at other drivers, and I would walk around angry at work, cursing my boss under my breath. This all left me quite discontent! But by realizing that I could just try to accept these things, because really, they were not that big of a deal, I realized that everything was still ok, and in the end I was not miserable!
Once we have come into agreement with these ideas, it is really easy to begin the practice of Step Three. In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.” - AA 12 and 12, Step Three, pg 41.
This was the step we talked about at my first AA meeting last night. It is hard to let go and let God....how do we know what he wants from us.....i'm so confused as to how to just be and hope that i'm living according to His will for me.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! I know that meetings is my place. I need them.
Jen Day 2 again
Hi Jen! Thank you! Yeye! Day 2, woot woot! This is one of those stow that you need to have some faith. I remember just saying to myself every morning, that everything is going to be ok. This I strange concept at first, just to let things be, but with practice it will become easier. Giving up control will actually make you feel safer. THis is really big in Buddhism too, the giving up of self actually opens you to what is called enlightment. Just stay in today, and today only. You can do this Jen! Hugs!
DeleteHi Jen! Thank you! Yeye! Day 2, woot woot! This is one of those stow that you need to have some faith. I remember just saying to myself every morning, that everything is going to be ok. This I strange concept at first, just to let things be, but with practice it will become easier. Giving up control will actually make you feel safer. THis is really big in Buddhism too, the giving up of self actually opens you to what is called enlightment. Just stay in today, and today only. You can do this Jen! Hugs!
Delete