So it finally happened, our normie friends invited us to a drinking event! I got this lovely email the other day, here is a piece of it:
"We are planning an outing at the Winery in the country this Saturday with the kids. It is beautiful there – beautiful scenery/outdoor area where you can ample or buys local wine and cheese. People bring lawn chairs, blankets, picnic dinners, and hang out and drink lots of wine of course!"
Oh I think my heart skipped a beat for a bit as I read it! Sounds like so much fun, we should go, they are bringing their kids, and it's a picnic... never mind the Winery part. That's ok, I mean how bad can it be, its not like going to a concert, or something, right!? And then a bowling ball fell in my stomach. Confusion... Any wine event used to be the place to be for me, at least in the early days before I settled to drinking out of a 3 liter box.
In my mind I have already created and elaborate party, amidst the Winery fields and people dancing and drinking and having fun! Sort of something like straight out of the 18th century. Big dresses and wigs and all! And wine flowing like water! LOL! Well, I sure live in some dream land sometimes! Lol! But reality is... I have to be honest with myself and a winery is not a safe place for me!
So now what? I guess I could say, thank you, but we are busy or I could say the truth. And I don't want to get another invitation like this. I guess it is time to tell them!
I talked to several people in recovery to get some ideas on how to say it all. Then I wrote a short reply. I thank them for thinking of us and inviting us to the even. Then I explained that my husband and I are in recovery and the winery would not be a safe place for us to be. I also mentioned that we would love for them to come over for a cookout sometime. I figured that way they would know that it had nothing to do with them, we just can't be around lots of drinking.
I felt really good about the email, though a bit nervous when few days went by and they didn't reply. But finally they did and said that they would love to come over for a cookout! Wheeew.
This wasn't as easy as I though it would be. I though I was totally ready to just let the world know that I am sober. And at many times I am, especially when I am in a situation like someone tries to hand me a drink or asks me to happy hour. But maybe this was different. I like these people and there was a small part of me thinking that I might lose their friendship. But I suppose if they had an issue with us being sober than the friendship wasn't worth it anyway.
My sobriety has to come first!