September 2, 2013

Weekend With Family Sober

My family has descended on our house this weekend. This was not planned at all, as matter of fact we had a low key weekend planned with just few activities so that the kids would be rested and ready for the first day of school. But instead my family come over on Saturday and my husband's family on Sunday. I am absolutely exhausted, my back burst and I am still trying to get the house back in order!  - but, enough whining. :)

I was actually thinking how different these times are now. First of all, when I was drinking, no one was allowed to just show up at my house, uninvited and without calling way in advance. I mean, I had to do lots of prep work, clean the house, get rid of the empties, and get my self semi-sober so I could function and pretend that everything was perfect. Than I would buy a bunch food from the fancy gourmet store,because that would give that appearance that I had money! (of course I didn't, but there was always a credit card in my pocket!) And then there was the trip to the "beverage" store!

Yes, I spared no expenses to keep up the appearances. LOL! And I did it all this by myself; I was the hostess, the bartender and the chef all in one! I would also stress out about it all, to the max, actually I couldn't even sleep at night and drank way more just to "cope." I had to be perfect, the house had to be perfect and the "party" had to be perfect. This had to be the event that everyone talked about for days!

Of course all that was just a facade. This was not the real me or anything about me or my life. I was a mess and my life was a mess but I was definitely not gonna let any of my family members know. So ultimately, I didn't have many gatherings with my family. :/

This weekend was an absolute opposite! People showed up, people left. We made food when we were hungry and snacked on things I had in my pantry. There was no alcohol served! - it never is in my house anymore, and I think I am going to keep it that way. We drank lots of ice tea and coffee, and we grilled up a storm. Kids laughter and adult chatter filled the air. The house was semi-clean, then messy, than really messy, then cleaned and then... messy again! It felt like home! Our home! It felt like I always imagined my home to be!

This is sobriety in action for me. I remember when people were telling me this is how it was going to be when I go sober and I didn't believe them. But it is happening, right now, and right before my eyes. This is once again, another awesome example of why I continue my sober life!

I have a new blog on WordPress called Sober Courage - check it out!


  1. I love it! The real raw mess of sharing life with people is so much better than the perfect pretence. Sorry if that sounds like a corny summary, but your post is just what I needed to read tonight! Thanks for this. (And I hope your back is OK soon.)

    1. Hi, and thanks, my back feels better!

      Yeah, the raw mess < I like that! And yes, it is so much better, when it's real, it feels genuine, you know. The real life that I was afraid of, turns out to be really good!

  2. Sounds like you reaped the benefits of letting go! Letting life take the wheel for awhile can be so relaxing, especially as it gives us the chance to enjoy the scenery. :-)

    1. Omg, is that what that was, letting go? That one is so hard for me to see sometimes! Lol! Oh I wish I could do that more often, or maybe it's the beginning of a new trend for me! Thanks Al!


Keep moving forward!