May 14, 2013

Celebrationg a Happy Mother's Day Sober

Yes, I am a bit late with this post. I've been hanging in self-pity because my mom is gone and my husband did not live up to my expectations of my perfect Mother's day. Sheesh!! Bit self-center, still? Ya think!? Ugh. And I do miss my mom something awful. All these occasions used to be special and especially spent with her! But now they are no more. Just memories. But I am so very grateful that I have a wonderful mom in-law who has graciously opened her home and heart to me. What a gift! Soooo..... I am turning this crap in my head around; time to make a gratitude list...

I am grateful to be sober
I am grateful to have a loving family
I am grateful to have great kids
I am grateful to be able to be present for life
I am grateful to have had the chance to live a better life

I am grateful ______________________________________(you fill in the blank)

Happy belated mother's day to all the great moms, aunts, grandmas and teachers! It takes a village!!! And how grateful am I? I can't even put it into words. Being a sober mom sure beats being a drunk one! Let me tell you!

I lost custody of my daughter when she was five months old! Ugh. Things like this you may only hear on the news, right? Drunk, neglectful parents in some remote part of the country! Well maybe that's what most people would think, but we are just a middle class folk, living in the burbs... Yes, this happens in the burbs too. Anyway, she was put in a temporary foster care, while the county tried to figure out if we were fit parents. They cleared my ex and ordered me to go to rehab. For the next 6 months I got to see my daughter in a tiny little room, for an hour, once a week. My first mother's day, I got an hour with her, at my ex's house, with a county Child Protective Services supervisor present. Oh, I still have those memories etched in my head, crystal clear, never to be forgotten.

Today, I don't have to deal with any of that. Today, being a sober mom is the best gift I could give myself and my kids. Today, I am there for my kids and I am capable of taking care of them the right way. I am able to meet their needs and hopefully guide them in the right direction. It's not always easy, parenting is hard, but I am able to face the issues and come to some resolutions. I can lead by example.

And I get to hug them and tell them that I love them every day!
Only, because - I am sober.

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