I sat on the beach and watched them.
Nothing to do.
Just sit.
I felt uncomfortable. I have to admit, I still don't know how to be when there is nothing to do. In the past, when there was nothing to do I just drank. It seems to be ingrained in me. Lol! I just don't know what do with myself. So weird. There were other people there from my camping trip, so I looked towards them in hopes of starting a conversation. We started a small talk of sorts... Then I said - This is so nice. Nothing to do. - they laughed. Then they all started exchanging stories of "When I was drinking ... " - and we laughed about how common our stories were. How doing nothing is so strangely difficult. It was quite amazing, that they felt the same way. This, I found comforting yet still weird. How come we are unable to enjoy the nothing? Hmmm... Maybe because it keeps us from being with ourselves. I sure didn't like myself when I was drinking! Ugh. But today, I no longer have those feelings, today I am ok in my own skin.
Finally the conversation ran its course and I looked out over the water. I decided that I was going to try to just be in the moment. I read this article not long ago, about how to be in the moment. I remembered this part of it:
"Listen to the world. The birds, the sounds of one car passing, the conversations of distant strangers, the cracks and creaks of the building as it heats and cools, the planes overhead, the footsteps of passers-by. The moment is all around you." - Live in the Moment -
I was able to do this for about 10 minutes... I think! It was really amazing. Very freeing. I felt like nothing mattered, just me sitting on the sand, the sound of my kids playing, the humming of the ocean, the whistle of the wind and the big puffy clouds in the sky.
Amazing.
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| Sandy Point, Virginia |
Love this. The 10 minute thing you did is something that I try to do now on a regular basis. An old timer had me on this, and told me it's NOT the same as meditation. That is separate. Just SIT and BE. He was quite stern on that...ha ha. Love the old timers. But you know what? I sometimes *crave* to just sit and do nothing. My sponsor says he can do it for hours...just sit in the park and watch the trees, the kids playing...nothing else. I like that, and it attracts me. And when I do it...I really enjoy it. I try to shut down the mind a little bit, but really, I just let things be. And it sounds like you were there too. What a wonderful thing, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring post...thank you for sharing!
Paul
Lol! The old timers got it all figured out! Cool! I think that what ever it is I like it and I want to keep doing it. :) thanks Paul!
DeleteVery interesting and timely post for me.
ReplyDeletei'm finishing up Step 10 and ready for Step 11 and it's about time because i'm impatient to hurry up and relax! Since going sober i cannot sit still and often give myself so much work to do that i feel anxious for not doing everything i wanted to. i'm becoming addicted to my smart phone because if i'm trapped in a place where i can't do anything, i can always whip out my phone and accomplish something there.
i've been talking to a friend about Tai Chi and i think it could help me live in the moment rather than run and hide from it with activity.
Wonderful timing, thank you for this!
Same here! I am constantly going, and I am getting tired! Lol! And i feel like life is just passing me by. Iheard Tai Chi is helpful too, let me know how it goes. I think these little 10 minute times can probably grow once I get used to it. That would be awesome! I guess I got to keep practicing. :)
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