Enjoying the Freedom of Letting It All Go!

I was so over hyped about reaching 6 years of sobriety! Normally after an anniversary I feel sort of flat, but this year I was high as a kite for a while, or at least till I got sick. Lol! It's still so hard to believe that I am sober and all the one day at a time have added up to six years! It's truly amazing!

I have also had many moments of clarity lately and things are just flowing into place. All the things that I used to be so concerned about are somehow melting away. I just let them go. It is what it is and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

In this amazing spirit of letting go, I also "let" my husband plan our son's bday party! This was quite a challenge for me, because you know, he has no clue how to plan a kids party and I am sure he will do something wrong, like forget about the cake! Sheesh! With all my might I held back from calling the party venue and checking on the status, and making sure that all that was needed was ordered and planned out... while secretly hoping that he messed up something. But he didn't, the party went off without a hitch and I was able to enjoy it with my son and not worry about the logistics! Wow! Who knew!?

I have to say that I did get this weird feeling that maybe I am just getting lazy, or complacent, or maybe I am settling for just OK instead of working harder toward better and best. I mean how could a mother not plan her son's bday party, isn't that mom's jobs? But I also see that when I try to direct everyone or everything, it just back fires. People get mad, things fall apart or become even bigger issues, and I am just a ball of anger, fear and frustration. I don't like that. So maybe this is happy! I don't know. It feels uncomfortable, yet strangely enjoyable too
too.

Maybe this is growth and happiness!