I have been thinking really hard about this post, I think almost too hard! And I wish I had a very exciting stuff to write about; maybe I could write about all the amazing things I have in store for the new year, all these things that I always wanted to get done, you know like get healthier and slimmer, or all those remarkable actions I would like to get involved in, like run a marathon or climb a mountain. I wish had a handful of New Year resolutions to share with you and get really pumped up about and ready to start!
But… I don’t!
But... I really have none.
I know tomorrow I will get up, take the kids to school, go to work, sit through several meetings, leave work around 5:30 pm and get home to have dinner with everyone and tuck the kids to bed. Will it be a good day? Yes, it will!
I have truly started living one day at a time. I do plan and have a calendar filled with reminders and I have another one on the wall in the kitchen for my husband. And every night I look at it for the notes for the next day, and that’s it. Really! I am not sure how this happened. It just has become a way of life. I am so grateful that it did, but also I am at wow, that what seemed absolutely unattainable is now happening every day.
I was looking back the other day and come up on a post I wrote back on 6/24/2011:
And so this is my lesson in acceptance and living one day at a time. And since I have decided to focus on the moment I haven't felt like a drink. It has been a good week relatively speaking...well not entirely...my friend's mom died on Tuesday and that threw me in a tail spin for a bit. But at the same time I felt like it was even more crucial for me to live in the moment. Because my mind can take me from here now to dead and buried myself in a matter of seconds! It's scary and it includes all kinds of bad things in the middle. It's very exhausting and dangerous because then fear kicks up, ego gets inflated and I am a complete mess! Then I can't deal with anything. Then I have to rely on my HP and that everything will work out the way it is supposed to work out! One day at a time.And that is so very true still! The more faith I put in my Higher Power, knowing that things always work out, has completely put my mind at ease. I no longer spend sleepless nights wondering about all the different path a situation can take, or obsessing about what will happen in a month or a year. I don’t contemplate the future of my children or my aging parents. But don’t get me wrong, my life is by no means perfect; I have most definitely had few turbulent situations here and there. And in those times, I was actually more capable of dealing with them instead of agonizing over them. Living in the solution not the problem has been a definite turning point for me last year and I am looking forward to continuing this trend.
And as for a goal for this year... well, I hope for another 365 days sober… one day at a time!