July 25, 2011

Amy Whinehouse

I have to write something about the death of Amy Whinehouse! Why? Because I know she was one of us! She didn't choose to be an alcoholic and an addict!

My heart hurts so bad when I browsed through the internet looking for details of her death and seeing so many horrible responses to her death. People are so fucken mean, she was someone's daughter, someone's wife and someone's friend! She was a human being, one of us! So much judgment; who the fuck are you all to judge this way?? It's pathetic.

There are thousands of Amys out there and I am one of them!

My heart goes out to her family, friends and fans. This is such an insidious disease! It robs us of all will to have any say about anything. Getting sober was the hardest thing that I have done in my entire life! And I had four years of trial and error and I should have died many times over! Why not me??? I don't know. But I know I had no control over it, I didn't choose this route, that's why it's called addiction!

“No kind of bankruptcy is like this on. Alcohol (drugs, NA 12&12), now become the rapacious creditor, bleeds us of all self-sufficiency and all will to resist its demands.”
AA Twelve and Twelve, Step One, Page 21
“The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edge sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking (using, NA 12&12), and then by the allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process.”
AA Twelve and Twelve, Step One, Page 22

But I am here and grateful to be sober. And I hurt so much for each one of us that do not make it. Rest in peace Ms Amy, may you never have to hurt like this again! And may your legacy stand as another reminder to all of us that this disease KILLS!

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