In many ways I still feel like a kid. Being an adult seems so complicated. Now that my mom is gone I have to take responsibilities I don't really want. I don't want this change. Yet I know things do change and change can be good.
Why is it so hard to change behaviors and habits? I guess they make us feel comfortable. The known is very comforting. But wasn't it unknown at first?
Getting sober was the hardest change to accept for me. I would have, and tried to do anything in my power to no have to get sober. In many ways my crazy drunk life was comforting, it was the only life I knew. But after mamy difficulties caused by my drinking, something had to be done.
I tried the "minimal" approach and I got minimal results and drank again. The Big Book says that one has to have a complete psychic change to get truly sober. And for me nothing else worked. Until I was willing to change everything about me and my life, me and my life stayed exactly the same, miserable! Once I made the decision to change things started, slowly to change and improve.
Sobriety is a hard journey. It is also very rewarding. It opened me and my life to many possibilities that I never knew were there when I was drinking.