April 7, 2014

6 Years Sober, and I am Still an Alcoholic

I had a great opportunity to lead an AA meeting today in the neighborhood where I begun my sober journey. It was so very awesome to see people who have helped me so many times and had been my strength and support throughout those early days. Believe me, it was a surreal experience to be sitting opposite of them and sharing my strength and hope - when I was struggling I could not imagine ever being in this place!

I started by saying that I am an alcoholic and that my recovery date is April 15th 2008. And that I like saying the two together because it reminds me that I am still an alcoholic, but I have been sober for (almost) 6 amazing years!! OMG! Seriously! Unbelievable! Absolute Miracle! To truly understand how huge that is, you have to understand how long my journey has been! The first time I stepped into an AA meeting was in 2002, but it was another 6 years before I got sober!

The greatest part of the fellowship, after completing the steps, is definitely the fellowship! Here, I can come to a room full of people who may or may not be strangers, yet I know them and they know me. The faces, the hugs, the stories, all intertwined together by one common disease, the willingness to change, and the desire to live sober.

There are amazing things that happen in these rooms! We find new lives and happiness. We find true friendships. And every time I step in to a room full of alcoholics I feel like I have just come home! No one can understand what it's like to have this damn disease, unless they are also afflicted by it. It's cunning, baffling and powerful and I don't ever want to forget that. Many debate whether we are recovered or recovering. Hell, I don't care what you call it! For me I will always be an alcoholic because I have the alcoholic thinking still in me even though I no longer drink. And I know that if I listen too much to my alcoholic mind, and if I am not always prepared, and even one step ahead of it, I will drink again. But if I stay sober, one day at a time, my life becomes an open road! So, I don't mind being an alcoholic, not at all, because today I am sober!

That said, if you are reading this and wondering if sobriety is for you, believe me, it is! Because the drunk existence has nothing to offer, and you and I already know that. It will rob you blind and keep coming back for more. That's all! But sobriety will bring you a new life, a new view on the world, and a renewed love for yourself! You will create new and better relationships with your family, friends and coworkers. You will find happiness in simple things. You will be able to be honest and look people in the eye when you talk to them. You will be able to let go of your shame and guilt and gain confidence and strength. You will be open to many opportunities that would have never be available for you when you were drinking.

If you're open to checking out AA, here is some information to get you started.

Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous® is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. (From: Alcoholics Anonymous Preamble.)

1 comment:

  1. One day before your Year 6! Yay!

    Nothing to add, just to reiterate... i know AA may not be for everyone, but the program has enriched my life in ways i never could have imagined. It helps me not just curb my compulsion to drink, it helps me live a fuller, happier life in every area.


Keep moving forward!