May 23, 2011

Life on Life's terms - continued

"My aunt in-law is going in to the hospital this morning too, to start her treatment for lung cancer." see Life on Life's terms
Last week was tough. My aunt in-law died unexpectedly, leaving 2 young children and a huge family. Crazy...still hard to words to describe...
I've been overwhelmed with all kinds of new emotions. I always wondered if I would be able to deal with someones death sober; and I am still sober. I don't like the feelings I am feeling at all and for a while I hoped that there was something that would make them all go away. But I heard it in a meeting once that if you do not let yourself feel and go through it, you will drink again. And I don't want to drink again!! The greatest part of AA is that I get to learn how to live life no matter what life throws me.

These are the tools of the program; call your sponsor, talk about it, go to meetings and don’t drink no matter what cause it won’t change the facts. And RELY on your Higher Power. This is the key to staying sober for me. Because drink is just in arms reach away at all times. And so is HP! So you reach for your HP first!
My aunt in-law went into the hospital on Monday and died early Thursday, this was probably the longest 4 days ever. I talked to my sponsor and stayed connected though I didn't want to cause every time I told of what was happening I felt like I was going through it again. But that going through it was actually releasing a little of my pain every time. I also decided to hold on to my sobriety for support because I knew that if I stay sober I will get through this.

The most amazing part of this was that the night that Dawn was taken off life support, and everyone gathered at the hospital to say good bye, every person in the waiting room was in the program and sober, supporting one another. This is how AA works! Sober and together we can conquer anything...

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