February 23, 2012

We Change, They Stay the Same

I think one of the hardest things to accept for me in sobriety is that the world around me has not changed because I got sober. In fact it stayed exactly the same. This also applies to the people in my world, they seem to have stayed exactly the same too.

I always though that when I get sober my parents would be more accepting of me, more interested in my life and more... well more of parents to me. But that did not happen at all. The first thing that went was the smoking/drinking bond I had with my dad. Then my dad stopped drinking around me. I was no longer the family bartender. There was no alcohol serve at my house either, so coming over didn't seem to be soo much fun anymore. I think I stopped being cool to my younger brothers.
I really hate that perception that people seem to have; like if you don't drink you're lame. But I suppose it is better than the family drunk, or the party slush or that drunk girl or that what ever else people called me when i was drinking.
I know I have changed, I know I am no longer the same person. My perception on life has changed and therefore my life has gotten better. I no longer have to be ashamed and hiding my drinking. I no longer have to lie to people to hide my addiction. I no longer have the dangerous experiences that I had during the blackouts. I no longer have to live that life.
This is very freeing.

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