February 2, 2012

We Agnostics

Ever since my mom died I have been mad at God. All that I have seemed to have believed in is now irrelevant. Was this his will really? That's hard to swallow for me. It is much easier to think that she was sick and that's why she died. And that's what happened.

But what do I do now? Not much. I know I cannot stay sober on my own. I need a higher power, something, someone greater than myself.

I've been reading We Agnostics in the Big Book- Online, pg 44, to help me connect with my HP, because however my believes change there still is, I believe, something greater than myself that I need to stay sober. I have tried to stay sober by myself and I failed over and over again. But once I accepted that I can rely on a power greater than myself I was able to stay sober. And this power does not have to be from any religion. Just anything that I can put my faith in. That is quite comforting because I know there are many things greater than me out there!

When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. 
 “Who are you to say there is no God?" 

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