July 18, 2013

Just Coasting Sober

Well, there is not much going on here. Just coasting. I am learning how to be. Yep. Just be. Not in a sense of like sitting on a couch and just staring at the TV, or like meditating. But more in a sense of being ok with the world and the events of my day and not getting revved up about anything. Staying emotionally leveled. There is all that crap that I can't control, but I can control my reaction to it.

I think when I was drinking, even though life was quite dull, l would get all wrapped in anything, I mean you look at me the wrong way and I am off! AND the Drama! Gossip! Ahh... So easy to get sucked into happenings around me, that's not relevant to my life or relevant to my life. Who is right and who is wrong and who did what and where. And everything in between. All that stuff that keeps me from being me, and focusing on what is in front of me. And what is actually important. Hmmm... What is actually important?

Well, I am sitting here and thinking. Tough question. I know sobriety is the most important! Without it I wouldn't have anything else! Kids and family, yep, that's a given! Sleep! Yep. Spiritual condition! Yep. What else? My attitude? Yep!

Adjust your attitude. One third of your life will be fabulous, with no thanks to you. It's just fate. Be grateful for it. One third of life is not good, losses and deaths, also with no thanks to you. Suck it up. The other third is neutral. Kind of usual, life being life. Here's your chance. Attitude makes it fabulous or disappointing––which outlook do you prefer? - I grabbed this tid-bit from an article I was reading.
My attitude used to be just horrible. I could not be happy about anything. I hated me and you and everything around. It was always everyone else’s fault and there was never any solutions except to drink over it all! Kind of a sad existence, huh? I even remember when in rehab, we had to write one thing every day that we were grateful for and I had nothing! Nothing for days. Really.

And believe me, even in sobriety it has taken me a while to actually turn this thinking around, ha, I am still working on it. LOL. But you see, my life is not perfect and I am not really coasting – my kids summer activities have been quite overwhelming, my work has been crazy and I have been having to work at home just to keep up, and we found an entire family of skunks living under our deck and it has been quite an ordeal to get rid of them - safely! And wait, let’s not mention, the crazy gas company that got confused and confiscated our gas tank, thinking that we were the people that have not been paying them –yeah sounds nuts right!??! – Sheesh! Nope all this is really happening… whew, that felt good just letting it all out a bit! LOL!
YET, somehow, I am feeling like I am just coasting! So weird...

I am not freaking out. I am not complaining. I am not making this seem like a complete catastrophe.
I am just letting things unfold. I am just putting one foot in front of the other. I am just following my faith because, I know that all the things will work out! Today is going to be a good day!


  1. As someone who only knows you through what you write, i love your attitude and always enjoy coming here because i know i'll get a spiritual pick-me-up!

    1. Thanks AL! I like that, a spiritual pick-me-up! Yep, they say if you think positive, positive things will happen, right? Hope you're doing well!


Keep moving forward!