So my ex and I got into a big fight. I never know how and when these things escalate but boom, the next thing I know we were threatening each other with court! Ha crazy! But this time I didn't feel scared, and I didn't feel intimidated, I told my ex - Go ahead, take me to court, you got nothing on me now! - yep that felt gooooood! Yep, this is another great side effect of living a good, kind and sober life for me! My slate is clean!!!
Yet, after I hung up with him, I felt pretty shitty about the whole thing. I mean it's not really important what it was about, but the speed of the progression, from just a conversation to explosion was crazy. He said shit, and I said shit, so he said more shit, so I had to say even more shit! You know, and on and on, till I hung up on him. Oh man, that's not the person I want to be. But pride, and my still (somewhat?) over sized ego was saying - you are right, he is wrong. F him. - So I decided to call my sponsor and confirm of course, that I was right... ha ha, but deep down, I knew I was wrong in my behavior and I needed to "promptly admit it." Ugh. Well, she didn't answer, but I knew what she would have really said and what had to be done; good thing that I am on AA Step 10! - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Oh, but my mind was going nuts, yes, no, I don't wanna! But I just hit the speed dial and waited for him to answer, while I was trying to figure out what I was actually going to say. - oh man I don't want to say it! But here it goes…
That's what my sponsor suggests that I say, this way I don't say too much or cause another argument. I also offered to listen to his issue and suggestions, and stay open minded and come to a resolution. And we talked, and I listened, and that's exactly what happened – we came to a resolution. Whew! I felt like hitting that Staples That was easy! button. What a moment of the Twelve Steps in real life! So cool!
OK, now back to coasting sober! Lol! Maybe I can make it a week and half this time! ...work in progress!