August 11, 2013

Dad's Birthday Party Sober

I know, I know, another post ____ Sober! LOL! But for real, there was a time that I didn't think I could do any of these things sober! So here is another...

Sto Lat - Hundred Years
a birthday wish in Polish
My dad's 75th birthday party! Wow! I don't know where the time goes. My dad is still very young in his spirit, as a matter of fact he is looking for a girlfriend, which feels weird to me because my mom has only passed away 2 years ago! So mind you, I got that sort of hanging in my head, thought I am trying to accept it and I know my dad is lonely, so it would be nice for him to have someone to spend the rest of his life with.

Anyway, my dad and I exchanged few phone calls before the party, and during one of them my dad asked if I was going to be OK, because everyone will be drinking and he knows that it can be difficult for me. Wow! This was a first! It felt really nice that he had asked and I told him that if I feel uncomfortable I will leave, and I thanked him for asking. It is so nice to be supported!

So today was the party, and twenty some people were coming and me in the kitchen... Ugh. Yes it felt quite overwhelming! Thank god my mom in-law was there to help me out! She is also sober and a great support, and we have loads of fun together! My husband and dad in-law were watching the kids, so that was very helpful too! But, I felt quite frantic trying to figure out how to get everything ready and I wondered how my mom ever did this all alone; she never let us help her, she always did everything by herself! It feels really weird to being her kitchen.

I miss my mom...

I took a deep breath before we started and once again reminded myself to be of service.

And so, here we were,  my mom in-law and me, trying to get this thing going, in a kitchen that neither of us knew well and with my dad who had very specific directions on how things should be, and apparently plastics or paper anything was not allowed! So we just kept saying OK to his requests! And the good china was dirty because it hasn't been used in a long time and so where the good glasses and the silverware and no time. UGH. But we worked it all out and before we knew it the table was set and the food looked great! I kind of laughed about it all, because sometimes I am still wondering why I am so anal about things myself... Lol!

Then there was the instance when my 14 month old fell down the stairs and busted his lip and I think, because I was already stressed, I completely freaked out! - I am going to spare the details, but the miracle here was that I quickly apologized about overreacting (AA Step Ten at work!) and every one hugged and made up and everything was OK! And most of all the baby was OK, although he has a big fat lip :( 

So, the wine, and the beer, and the champagne were flowing and I was waiting for people to start getting trashed - yes this is my dad's 75th bday party and I think people will be getting trashed like at some frat party! I am not sure why I always think that but this was definitely not a frat party! Lol! And the drinking actually was not bothering me, I think it was because I was just to busy to care. But, I did have a weird moment when I had to move a bottle of wine to make room for a plate of food on the table. I actually said out loud - Wow this feels weird, I haven't touched a bottle of wine in 5 years! - and I laughed, but no one else thought that was funny! Sheesh! LOL! 

So even in the midst of the crazy stress, and the baby getting hurt, and the booze flowing, all and all, a very successful party, I have to say! I am so very grateful for all the people that supported me, my husband and my in-laws and my dad! I don't think I would have be able to get thru this type of  event sober and happy without them! Thank you!

And lastly, we were sitting on the deck when a beautiful butterfly sat on a one of our guests hand. We were all standing there in complete wonder and strange silence. Butterflies are deep and powerful representations of life. They are a symbol of powerful transformations. Some people also believe that butterflies are the spirits of loved ones. Hmm... so. very. cool.


  1. Awwww... Happy Birthday Maggie's Dad!

    I had to blink back tears at the picture of the butterfly. How beautiful was that? No doubt a messenger from afar, no doubt at all.

    xoxo, Christy

    1. and yay, I'm visitor 11111 :)

      (the number 11 is a very powerful and spiritual number as well...)

    2. Oh, how cool is that! Thanks Christy! Hugs!

  2. Maggie
    I've been reading your posts all night. You're a great writer and an inspiration to me. I can't wait to be sober for 5 years! Wow!
    Is it still tough when you're at parties watching everyone drink? Do you ever crave it?

    1. Thanks Jen, I appreciate it! Yep, and yep, but it's a bit different now, I crave sort of the escape feeling, the let loose feeling, not actually the drinking part. And it depends how "crazy" the party is, but when I start feeling squarely I politely excuse myself and leave. I just don't want to chance it, for me best sober tool is to leave the place that maybe can trigger me. Thanks for stopping by and your kind words!


Keep moving forward!