August 5, 2013

Using Recovery Tools Can Help with Parenting (Part 2)

Tough weekend on the parenting front! Ugh. We had two kids sick, and one hormonal, and guess which one was the hardest to deal with!? Yep, the hormonal, almost ten year old daughter. She tested us to the absolute limits, about anything and everything! I am beyond exhausted. I haven't felt this totally out of control and frustrated in a long time - how do I stop this!? Definitely not my best parenting moments – oh and wouldn't a shot of tequila just eh be so lovely about now! Ha Ha. This sounds familiar! LOL! I know it's just a thought, but I am kinda getting tired of it. It still seems to be my default setting, and my very first thought when I am at my wits end. Ugh. I really want to change that, I want to have a new thought. I want to have a new default setting! I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to develop a habit, so I am going to try to re-set mine. I am not sure to what yet, but it has to be quick and let some frustration out - and it can't be screaming for tequila, even if it is just in my head! Lol!

So the whole thing has left me rather blah, and since I don't like being blah, I am trying to come up with some of the positives about this weekend.

The biggest thing that I have realized was that there was definitely some surprising growth for me! I have found, again, that the same tools I have learned through the 12 Steps in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) that I use to keep from drinking, I can also apply to keeping leveled through some tough situations. For instance, I repeated the serenity prayer quite often, I went to a meeting and shared about it. I called people in the program to get things off my chest. And I prayed, asking my Higher Power for strength and ability to make the right decisions - and to help me keep my ego right sized.

Then, when my daughter told me that she was very angry and felt like she was going to blow, I suggested to her few things (that I have learned in AA) that she might try to help her calm down. We talked about taking deep breaths, listening to music and reading a book. Also I suggested that we maybe call someone, like Nana. We did some breathing and listened to music and talked... lots of talking... Unfortunately all this worked just temporarily but I know we will have a chance to practice some more in the near future! Lol!

I also found myself repeating things to my daughter which I have learned in the program:
  • We are only in control of ourselves.
  • Do the next right thing.
  • Let it go.
  • Find acceptance.
  • This too shall pass.
Of course, these were the same things that I was trying to keep in mind as I struggled with her emotional outbursts loaded with tears and yelling and lots of eye rolling. Oh goodness, someone help me! Lol! I only hope I can find the patience for all of this, because I know in the old days this would have been a huge reason to get plowed and completely check out! But I don't have that "luxury" anymore - ha ha some luxury that was, sheesh! So today I want to learn a better way to deal with life's frustrations, because I know life is not always peaches and cream, but I can still get through it sober! 

A GOOD day is when everything goes my way and I don't drink,
A GREAT day is when nothing goes my way and I don't drink.


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