We have recently met two families with kids in our new neighborhood and both of our kids have made new friends. We have made some new friends too, with the parents who are normies! - or at least they appear to be after the first few meetings. - If you have never heard the term normie, I didn't make it up, I swear! But in my circles of sober friends, a normie is a person that is not an alcoholic and/or an addict.
So all this is very awesome, I feel as excited as my kids do! But it also feels a bit scary. Not enough that getting to know new people can be challenging but I haven't even had any normie friends except for my coworkers, since I go sober, actually, probably few years before then! And being in the new neighborhood I still feel like the new kid on the block. LOL!
Last weekend was the 3rd time that all the kids were paying together outside. As I was checking on them periodically, I noticed almost right away, that one dad just sipped on his beer all day long while he worked on his mountain bikes in the garage. - I wondered: How many has he had so far? Doesn't he get drunk at some point? How can he be looking after the kids if he is drinking? - my mind started racing, but wait... He's a normie, he can probably sip on that beer for hours! LOL! And true enough, he did! Ha! I don't know how they do that? Just sipping, all day? I know I would be trashed in a matter of hours. This is how I know I am better off sober!
Then the other day, one of the moms told me how her and her husband like to sleep in on Sundays cause you know, they put-one-on Sat nights - that's their night to let loose, she explained. I felt jealous for a second... Then sort of fearful, like she probably won't like me when I tell her that I don't drink! Ahh my thoughts were all over, like back in the high school years: will they like me? will I be popular? what do I tell them? do I tell them? Oh, I just want to fit in! Well... I don't have to tell her until I need to tell her, so that might be... never! And I would rather tell her and risk her not "liking" me, than not tell her and risk my sobriety.
It is amazing that alcohol no longer defines me, but my alcoholism is in the forefront of my mind - it has to be if I want to stay sober. At the same time I have to remember that for the normies it is different, they can take it or leave it, they don't wonder if others drink or not! And they probably don't care that some people do or don't. They may make their own judgements sometimes... But that is not my problem. What others think of me is none of my business!
So all is good! One of the great things that I have learned in sobriety is that I don't have to say or explain why I don't drink until I feel that my sobriety maybe in danger or I feel compelled to share that information with other people who may benefit in some way. I do know that when the time comes I will have no problem saying - I don't drink - and I have to if I want to stay sober!