April 2, 2013

Sober Bits & Pieces

Many times, when I comment on another blog, I realize that I am really reminding myself of the things that are important for my sobriety. Here are a few bits and pieces:
- You are right were you are supposed to be, even if you don't believe it. This is part of growth, it doesn't feel good, it maybe treacherous, it might make you feel uncomfortable and like you are riding a roller coaster! It is very ok to have these feelings. It is ok to struggle sometimes.
- This is the easier, softer way. I’ve tried it all, moderation for me was just white knuckling and the mental obsession was even crazier. I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t have to think it and over think it to the point of neurosis. Giving up the fight opened the doors to freedom for me.
- My feelings change so fast sometimes, just postponing the though for a bit helps, by tomorrow I know I will feel different. But it took me a while to learn that, I had almost like a knee jerk reaction when I though about drinking, I thought it and as fast as I did I was drinking. Ugh. People say you can't get struck drunk, but it sure felt like it! I would walk into a store to get lunch and walk out with a bottle of wine! So I had to learn how to think the whole moment thru... Drunk and in a bliss tonight, and hating me and the world tomorrow, hmmmm the choice suddenly becomes clearer!

- This for me maybe in part due to my own insecurities. I know that when I am ok with me, I have no need for the "character assassinations" on others. When I am in acceptance that everything and everyone is exactly as they are supposed to be, I have no need to compare myself to others and put them down so that I can feel above them. Unfortunately this all seems to stem from how I view myself and how I think the world views me. Fortunately I can work on that view by practicing self love and self acceptance.
- I've been sober few years now and just the other day I had that "I miss it" feeling! But the great thing about sobriety is that you can make new memories... You can create new ways to spend your nights... nights that you will remember and cherish forever!
- Put down the hammer and stop nailing yourself - I cough this little gem from a comment that Paul left on another blog. It has been on my mind for days, it has just resonated so deeply with in me. Yes, how long am I going to continue beating myself up for the past? How many nails am going to beat into me? There is absolutely no need for this anymore. 

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