January 23, 2013

My Journey to the Rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous

My first introduction to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)  was after I was charged with a DUI (Driving Under Influence.) As a hope for a lesser sentence my lawyer suggested that I attend a few AA meetings, so I did. I showed up, I sat in the chair and I left. Unfortunately, this didn't help and my hefty sentence included no license for a year, 5 days in jail, ASAP, ADS, and... you guessed it, more AA meetings. UGH! - for more on my DUI see My Drunk Log. So, I kept going to meetings, cause I am no lier and I will get my paper signed as ordered, and ....then I will drink after the meeting! Ha! I had it all figured out!

I definitely believed that AA was not for me. I kept thinking that I had absolutely nothing in common with those sober AA people! And who the heck wants to be sober anyways! And the whole God thing they kept referring to was scary! And doing the 12 steps was even more frighting. Not for me, life sucked and I was miserable and there was no hope for me. That's what I thought!

From 12 and 12 - Step  One, pg 4.
But eventually my life was so miserable that I just didn't think I could take it anymore, I just wanted to die! I ended up losing few jobs, I spent few weekends in detox, and a week in the psyche ward too. AND 18 months in outpatient rehab. It was all too much!

I finally, actually reached out to AA, it just seemed like it was my only hope for anything better than the crazy life I lived. The first step was really difficult because admitting that I had a problem and that I needed help seemed to big of a task. My pride sure wouldn't let me admit that. I certainly did not want to be an alcoholic. But at the same time I couldn't continue living the way I was and I thought that maybe those sober AAs could help me live better. I though maybe I could stop drinking! Maybe I could be happy again. So I kept coming back and I found a sponsor, and I started doing the steps and getting to the bottom of all the crap that was really the cause of my drinking. And little by little, things started changing. Day by day I managed to stay sober! I worked on my self and my inner troubles. I found a Higher Power, it was a tree. I was finally learning how to live without alcohol. And before I knew it, not enough that I got sober and have been sober for the last (almost) 5 years, and my life is amazing! I got married (to one of those AAs,) I bought a house, I had two kids and and I found an awesome job. My life is not made out of riches, and it's not always peaches and cream, but it's full of true happiness which I thought I would never experience. I still have some work to do, but it is way better than the drunk existence I used to live.

And the God thing, well it's not a thing, it is just a suggestion, that you believe in something greater than yourself, a Higher Power that could help you stay sober; it could be a rabbit's foot if you want or AA or God - just something that you believe is stronger and greater than you.

So if you think you might have a problem with alcohol, and your life has become unmanageable  please contact your local AA office, you can find their number at http://www.aa.orgThere is a solution!

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