|Big Book, Chapter 3|
But I wasn't laughing at him at all, I was remembering my own struggles. I have totally been there! I so badly, just wanted to learn how to drink like a lady! I would go to ANY lengths to figure out a way to control my drinking that worked! And it sometimes worked, giving me a confirmation (now I know it was a false confirmation) that I was not an alcoholic. But most of the time it didn't work, and I was off to the races, slobbery drunk and in a blackouts. What happened? - I wondered. I did the same exact thing the last 3 times I drank, why didn't it work this time? I must try another way! This went on 6 years for me! For six years I was trying to drink like a lady and I miserably failed! I tried every method I could think of, and read about, and heard about, and nothing ever worked for an extended period of time.
Then, when decided that maybe I should just stop drinking… I started to read the AA Big Book, looking for answers. (Or at least learn how to drink like a lady! LOL.) I read this on page 30: "This is the first step to recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed."Has to be smashed! – yep has to! For me there is all or nothing when it comes to drinking. And I already know what happens when I drink! Lol! CRAZINESS is what happens!!!
So sober I am, another 24h, and wishing him all the best.