February 19, 2013

I Am Powerless Over People, Places and Things

I have been thinking about my "friend,” who I have written about in The Odds Are Against US and who really is a family member. He is back to doing heroin after about a month of clean time. My heart is filled with fear that he will die before he can get any help and he does not want any help. He is at the point of absolute anger and denial.

This is beyond my knowledge base. I have never been on the other end of the alcoholism/addiction battle. I mean I have helped few sponsees and some new comers but not a family member. And I have never dealt with drugs or heroin abuse. I am a strict alcoholic, never got into drugs. Weird , I know, but I think it was because my dad frowned on drugs so much, but drinking was always OK ;) Anyway, I understand the merry- go-round of addiction! I can relate to the pain and hopelessness. I can relate to not wanting to get sober! I can relate to pushing everyone away. I CAN RELATE.
But sitting and waiting is just ...well, I have no words for it! We actually concluded that if he got arrested it might be the best thing for him; it might save his life. Strange. Wishing he ended up in jail seemed hopeful! To a normie that would sound absurd right. Well not if it can save a life!

The whole family is worried and no one really knows what to do. What can we do? His dad seems to be harboring him at his house, and doing nothing about him shooting up all day. What? Is he insane? Is he protecting him? Is he enabling him? Is he getting high with him? I can not understand.

I feel so powerless. I know no one gets sober until they are ready. I know that no matter what we do it is up to him to get clean. I know that he has his own journey, his own Higher Power, and his own time. He is just not ready to surrender yet. When he is ready, we will be waiting to offer our experience, strength and hope.  In the meantime, I have to “let go and let God” and embrace the fact that I am powerless over people, places and things, which includes the alcoholism/addiction of someone else.


  1. Yup...nothing that can be done to make him want to get clean. I too am only an alcoholic, and so know nothing about drugs, so I can't relate in that way. I can't imagine what it is to be on the other side of it. I truly can't. I think it takes a certain type of saint to be with people like us...ha ha.

    What you say about letting go and letting God...absolutely true. I am sure you have seen enough people in and out of the rooms who you wish you could just ask them nicely (or shake them nicely) to just STAY. But it's not our call. Sigh. It's been a tough thing for me to get used to, but I am used to it now. I used to get upset if someone didn't call me back, or if they avoided me or hung up on me when I called. They are where they are, and I can't chase them.

    But we can wait, pray and wish them the best.

    Wonderful post.

    I hope things turn out :)


    1. Thank you Paul, I appreciate your comment. It is hard. I hope he finds his way.


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